|
| you ever get that? that sick feeling like you're suppose to be the grown up but you end up acting like a child and being babied by the very people that are suppose to look to you for guidance.
who ever thought it was a good idea to put just age as a prerequisit to most positions of youth leadership. if anything i think with age the region of your brain that is suppose to house wisdom is pissed on and tagged the hell out of with rotting cabage raining perpeptually from the unearthly globs that dwell where the clouds would normally be in more sanitary conditions.
Personally i think im a royal screw up. and by no means throw me a pity party because i am no longer a royal screw up because i am older now. That kind of just completely contridicts what was previuosly stated. but it doesnt really if you dont think about it. go ahead and join me in the next paragraph and dont forget to bring along you're new persective sans the gibberish that i voiced beforehand.
what makes a lousy leader, a position i was defulted by age an nothing else, was because i did nothing to earn it with the exception of waking up that day and surviving to that very day. congratulations me! for ingesting food for those twentysome years and avoiding, but really not avoiding anything just them avoiding me, lighting crazed car men, and those rather odd individuals that would rather decapitate you while you slept than wake you to get your name.
this is all great and disturbing but what is really your purpose of lettce-ing know how the juices in your head slosh back and forth.
im good now, occasionally id like to forget myself and smack one or two kids in the face with a fat descaled fish. descaling the fish adds to the sound of the slap and the ability of it, being the fish, to glide across the childs face.
p.s. theyre asking lettuce leaf lettuce leaf. will you? the people i mean. the ones in your head. the ones living in that house made of rotting cabbage. you know what you're doing? and why? good! makes one of us
you really don't know if you love something until you suck at it.
its what keeps you itching for more | | |
| Its been a full year since ive heard that clock tick. It must be the daily hustle and bustle that keeps me from noticing that clock tick tock. but i finally have time to myself, the apartment to myself. i was just cleaning out my closet and running into things from the beginning of college and what not. its all rather beautiful like the glow of a dying fire. i'm finally taking some time away from everything.
now i cant hear the clock tick tocking anymore. my phone just rang someone just walked through the door. the clock stop talking. for a brief moment i felt like i was somewhere else. a place where the clocks talk to you. now im just here in irvine moving my dusty crap getting ready to gtfo.
psun1, cuz psun is already taken on facebook
| | |
| The silence was broken by the sound of the chainsaws' teeth grinding through wood as they slowly amputated the limbs of our towering neighbors. The cold morning air carried the smell of their blood through my window and into bed with me. I might have been delusional, but i thought i could hear their discontented whispers. I'm sure they would scream if they could. i remember the red numbers flashed 7:15 am. I had a good hour of sleep ahead of me before i had to participate in life. i returned to the friends in my head. i returned to their bright faces and warm smiles. this was a nice change from the usual unconscious adventures i am forced to participate in that leave me covered in sweat and screaming at night.
The Love song my alarm clock sang for me brought me back to the cold dark room that i had left around 5 hours earlier. Even though she says she sings for me, i'm sure she would sing for anyone that is willing to listen. Her desire for attention is insatiable. Shortly david's alarm clock joined in and the two sent love back and forth to each other until me and david intervened with repeated jabs to the snooze buttons. i woke up with my usual "dear God's", "i cant wait to go back to sleeps" and my "shit fucks." What awaited me 40 minutes down the hall was my dreaded final. i went and prostituted myself, inadequately regurgitating what they had force fed me in the weeks before. As i waked out those double doors that brought nothing but dread i sent up my own songs of remorse and regret. "the dear God please save me" and the "fuck fuck fucks" lingered in my broken love song, following me all the way back to the parking lot.
I found myself standing on my lawn with my beloved breakfast beer and cigarettes. The taste of when the beer mingled with the cigarettes in my mouth calmed the voices in my head. The smell of my breath brought back so many childhood memories. i smelled just as they did, or at least how i remembered them. in a way i guess you could call them my fathers, but simply for the sake that they were there and others were not. I did not want to grow up to become them. The marriage of beer and cigarettes on an empty stomach made for a wonderful feeling i could no longer contain. I politely ignored my neighbor as she returned from her morning walk and i proceeded around the corner to throw up into the surrounding bushes.
patrick
| | |
| Theres always alot i can talk/complain about because life is just so funfilled! I was in the mood for some adverterous xanga reading, but the general sense of the xanga posts i stumble on are all bitter realizations of self/pain-filled self discoveries or just plain bitching and moaning. i read back on all my posts secret and public and all mine are seriously the same. theres nothing wrong with those. i personally find it therapeutic among other things, it doesnt always have to have a purpose. but seriously its pretty depressing reading about how everyones lonely and discontent whom theyve become or the fact that they've had a falling out with the voices in their head.
so its fine what you're doing, but please can we talk about something else? i feel as if were always just bumming each other out. i honestly feel depressed when i read xangas. you're life isn't that bad, i know that for a fact! you still have enough fingers to type. what are we highschoolers or something being emo 24/7?
On that note! i've been watching this guy on youtube that can sing both boy and girl parts in a song its pretty crazy. his name is nick_piteria*** (look up whole new world) (i hope when people search his name on google my xanga doesnt popup), so i came across this video where he sings part of your world by Ariel from litte mermaid, (which by the way i was singing as i was doing the dishes and chris said i had a decent voice which is a pretty big compliment coming from chris but i think he was bsing me to get into my pants or something but whatever yeah score!) so i stumbled across the give us your voice contest which is like a world wide contest where people send in their covers of litter mermaid songs to win some crazy baller grand prize. and heres the crazy thing, the winner was some girl from mesa dorms (uci) and she is a freshmen and i recognize her! because one day at cha me and jared were chilling with the smallgroup and he recognized her from all her youtube video's she had of herself singing a plethora of songs and which ray played everyday on blast until everyone wanted to gouge out his eyes. and i remember seeing one of her video's briefly. so we got all excited and i pulled out my chocolate to try and take a stalker picture so we could compare it to the youtube videos to make sure. for some reason simply talking to her and asking her was out of the question and required lynching if brought up. (this was my first and last time ever taking a picture of a stranger i swear please dont think less of me) but at that moment my phone like blew up and thats how it broke. God didnt want me to stalk this girl, he must love her very much. hahhahhaha. im not sure if i should have told you all that, but at least it wasnt depressing right? i hope so. have a great day friend. don't die just yet because ill miss you. let me die first.
im normal i swear,
patrick son of johnny son of grandpa
| | |
| Dear faithful readers,
I have recently realized how awkward i truly am around females and even good lookin males.For those of you that suffer the same predicament as I, i thought id share a sure fire way of easing these interactions, or better yet, breaking the awkward turtle's shell and making a delicious soup out of the contents. The following is a set of suggestions/rules i personally have devised to deal with those treacherous endevours called first impressions.
So say you're with a girl, and you two are talking and everything is going splendid. Be sure to always say "Its been along time since i talked with a girl" you want to be the first to say it before she notices. it breaks the ice trust me, so in the long run you dont seem as awkward. and follow up with a personal compliment. my favorite is "you have nice hands" and from there feel free to elaborate on how big and strong they look or perhaps how short and stubby like little rolls of hotcakes. try to relate whatever body part you choose to compliment to a type of food. because food is always good. Girls love to play hard to get, so if she says "well this is my floor" or "please stop following me" take this as a sign to intensify your pursuit. try to squeeze in the joke about your white panel van and how you have free candy in the back if she would like some. they love free candy. But i think the best thing to say hands down is that "hey you look very similar to my mother". i dont know why but girls really love when you say that. so much so that they turn away from you to hid the fact that theyre blushing, but sometimes they turn around just to throw up. i dont really understand why they do that just yet, that must be the female way of showing that shes in love with you. and at the end of all this dont forget to ask her her name so you can facebook stalk her at a later time.
BEST OF LUCK!
pat
| | |
|
